Monday, March 8, 2010

Do You Believe In Magic?

I have put off posting something in here because I was waiting for some profound topic that people might be interested in reading to come along and........... it's been about a month, maybe two, now. Now I've figured, I really only wanted to start a blog to record some of my random thoughts (and there are lots). Maybe, someday, I could then come back to them and laugh or something like that. I guess I could just keep a journal, or a diary of some sort. The truth is though, it makes my hand hurt and heck, maybe if I put stuff on here then people will give me attention. "Hoo-rah".

For now, I will just start with today. It was almost 70 degrees today. Call me crazy but the weather greatly affects my mood, and today, I was perfect. I got up 20 minutes before I had to leave for work (instead of my normal 15), I let 3 (above average) cars merge in front of me on the way in, and when I got there, I loved everyone. Up until lunch I listened to how the protagonist in my audio book was not only rescued, but also "un- brainwashed" from the cult she was conned into joining. After that, I got to enjoy our gorgeous weather outside with an amazing KFC pot pie, and a favorite friend. After lunch, I started on yet another audio book. This one is about a realistic imaginary friend that the character falls in love with (or will soon, I hope).

All of my happiness combined with being submerged in seemingly realistic non-fiction got me to thinking. Surprise Surprise. This time around, it was about why it is that we do get so wrapped up in all of that "mushy stuff". I have to admit that I mock it to annoying extremes sometimes, but that is mostly just a front. The truth is, I am probably the worst. I average watching "You've Got Mail" about 3 times a week. No joke. I've never really understood the term "hopeless romantic". Should it not be "hopeful romantic?" This is why I think that big Mr. Fox books and Kathleen Kelly click: It's all about honestly and rawness. Seriously, how many times do we have conversations with our seemingly significant other that goes something like, "Hey, how was your day? • Good, yours? • Good. What are you doing? • Nothing. What are you doing? • watching tv • oh • yep • I'm tired • Me too • What are you doing? • Nothing • I think I'm gonna go take a shower now"---. I think what I really like about the movie is Fox's persistence. Well, I say that. But if there was a guy that really showed up at my front door after I had repeatedly asked him to go away, let himself in, and started making tea in my kitchen, would I really like it? Maybe I would. I would like to think that I would. Back to the matter, RAWNESS. I definitely believe rawness is key. I'm not a big fan of small talk. It seems that rawness is what the movies have that reality lacks. No man is really going to go up to a girl he has never met and say, "You're beautiful, and I like your laugh, let's go get some Starbucks baby". No one will cancel their wedding because they have a slight gut feeling that the person they met two years earlier is their "soul mate". Things don't just happen like that. We are not that raw, and we certainly don't make ourselves that vulnerable. Because we are insecure and sure that if we did, we would be chewed up and spit out, probably. At least that's how I function, or more properly put, don't function.

After all of this nonsense thinking, I ultimately concluded that "rawness" is something I would like to strive for. I want to come out of every five minute conversation I have knowing more than what the other person thought of the weather that day. I want to give everything that has the slightest bit of potential a chance, and I want to be daring enough to take risks. I would like to figure out a way to love a part of everyone I spend time with, and bare my vulnerability so that when someone does decide to love a part of me, it will be disgustingly real and maybe even "movie-esque". As many times as we are relayed the message of "Life is Short" (I'm so tired of hearing that), it is kinda impossible to get around it. A decent comparison would be to say that our life is like a day. Our world is like Disney World. And we spend so much of that one single day sitting on the couch in our hotel room thinking about how we could never possibly do everything in 24 hours.